Blurred Visionary

Lord Obama enthralled attendees during His appearance yesterday at George Washington University with an oration expounding on His deficit and debt reduction plan. It was official because He was flanked by dimly lit American flags and broadcast on the cable network juggernaut C-SPAN3. Apparently C-SPAN couldn’t break away from its coverage of the House draperies being steam cleaned and C-SPAN2 was running a Book TV episode from 1998.

Weighing in at 5,442 words, the address was repetitive, fallacious and coma-inducing. But it was obnoxious. Here is a merciful distillation:

This is my vision for America: A vision where we live within our means while still investing in our future, where everyone makes sacrifices, but no one bears all the burden, where we provide a basic measure of security for our citizens and we provide rising opportunity for our children.

Of course it is. What else? And two years into His reign, He is so close to making that vision a reality He can taste it. If only the psychotic Republicans hadn’t been the minority for all that time, powerless to stop His common-sense agenda of spending the country into oblivion in order to live within our means! And now that they’ve seized control of the House through the treacherous, clandestine “election process”, our means-living-within potential is severely threatened.

But as long as rhetoric can remain blissfully unattached to action, He will continue to inspire leg-tingling in albinos everywhere. Experience just a taste of the exhilaration here:

THRILLER

Be warned. The teleprompter speed appears to be set to Star Wars Opening Crawl. So prepare for uncomfortably long stretches where Maximum Leader has nothing to do but blink and grimace as he waits for the scroll to catch up. But, all in all, riveting stuff (in the sense that viewers will feel as though a column of white-hot rivets is being slowly driven through their cerebral cortices).