Explosive News
In an appropriately fitting act of naked obeisance, the Nobel Peace Prize committee has awarded its highly coveted piece of prize to the reigning King of the Universe: Barack Hussein Obama, Esq.
His Majesty was said to be ‘deeply humbled’ upon hearing of the honor. Of course, even God incarnate, when derived of a TelePrompTer, can make the occasional verbal blunder. The phrase He was reaching for was ‘deeply humiliated’. What could be more ignoble than finding oneself the recipient of an award that has already been given to the likes of James Earl ‘Jimmah’ Carter, Albert Arnold ‘Algore’ Gore and Yasser ‘Mohammed Abdel Rahman Abdel Raouf Arafat al-Qudwa al-Husseini’ Arafat? We can only hope that the $1.4 million that comes along with the prize will be just enough to help the new Nobel Laureate overcome such a humbling experience.
The fact that Lord Obama has been given the award is not surprising. Why should Norwegians be immune to the cult of personality? Why should the Nobel committee be less sycophantic than any other irrelevant organization scrambling to generate publicity for itself? It would be shocking if The One wasn’t given the award. After all, what accolade should He not be showered with? We fully expect Him to win an Oscar® next year. In fact, all the Oscars®. At once.
What is noteworthy about this award is the august committee’s wonderfully absurd rationale. The Sovereign was awarded the prize ‘for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples’.
BWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHAAHAAAHHAAAHAAHHAAAAAAAA!!!!
Sorry, we momentarily lost composure during a fit of lung-detaching laughter.
The committee might just as well have awarded Him the prize for His jump shot. That would be less insulting to what little remains of the collective intelligence of humanity.
In actuality, the award could not be more fitting, despite the stated reason. Alfred Nobel made a massive fortune by devising a safer way to explode bedrock. Likewise does Lord Obama toil daily, devising a shrewder way to explode the bedrock of human liberty.