Ah, the beleagured life of a selfless public servant. Why, one cannot even walk down a street, seemingly hungover, without being ambushed by dangerous youths asking a simple question. Consider, for example, Bob ‘The Animal’ Etheridge (D-NC).
We salute you, Mr. Bobby Ray ‘Bob’ Etheridge, honorable gentleman from the Great State of North Grabolina. This ‘student’ has the temerity to just let you walk right up to him in broad daylight on a public street? And then he asks you a question? Of all the unmitigated gall!
Your response was highly commendable in its unwarranted restraint. While you did get all up in his grille, insolence like this deserves a serious beatdown. Consider his absurd puniness next to your towering majesty. You should have just busted the punk up. But instead you settled into a comfortable Pete Townsend sort of place, clamped onto his supine wrist and responded with a simple question of your own, over and over again like an insane person who drinks to remember. As a service to you, in light of your tough day, your more or less exact query of the boy is transcribed here:
Well, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Tell me, who are you? (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
‘Cause I really wanna know (Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)
Who are you, indeed? Undeniably a question(s) that demands an immediate, forthright and properly obeisant response. Despite the ‘student’s’ continued refusal to answer, you, in your benevolent mercy, did not — as would have been your divine right as an elected thug — proceed to tear his arm off and pummel him with it. You set the example for us all.
Clearly this was a gotcha-style video so you smartly played right into the hands of those covert Republican operatives, while visibly alluding to the mascot of your own political party, by making a complete ass of yourself.
And then later in the obligatory ‘statement’, you demonstrated the core of a true politician by falsely affirming the very virtue that you just fractured like a child’s cervical spine.
I have and I will always work to promote a civil public discourse.
Of course. Except for the other day, when your idea of civil public discourse involved the Vulcan death grip.
Your House website currently displays this smile-inducing byword: ‘Bob Etheridge: Accountable and accessible to North Carolinians’. Obviously those diabolical boys of mystery are from a completely other non-North Carolina part of the country. So they had it coming.
BIG BAGGER IS WATCHING YOU.
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