Unemployment: A Welcome Harbinger of Recovery

Vice-Presidential Gaffe Machine Joe “BFD” Biden is currently on his virtual bus tour touting the administration’s Summer of Jobs! (not to be confused with the Summer of George!) He is able to do this because:

1. He can do all things through the ‘Rack which strengtheneth him. (Alinskians 4:13)
2. ADP has cited the creation of 13 — count ’em — 13 thousand jobs in June.

Granted, the ability to populate the average state fair on a Tuesday with new job recipients may not seem like a laudable achievement. But remember, this is all due to the ‘Rack’s “laser-like focus on jobs” that He promised in January. Imagine if He had had merely a Lensbaby-like soft focus; or a Magoo-like bad focus; or a Yankee spectator-like no focus? Then where would we be? The country would be currently experiencing economic meltdown.

Oh, wait.

Let’s re-think this. Since, by definition… as The One… He is incapable of error… the only plausible explanation is that His comment was meant to be understood in a different way. Perhaps it was “laser-like focus” in a “witness the power of this fully ARMED and OPER-A-TIONAL battle station!” sort-of-way. Yes! That’s it! It all makes sense now!

‘Job creation’ is really a euphemism for ‘job destruction’! What a daring gambit! Once all the jobs are gone, and everyone is collecting unemployment, then — as Her Royal Madameness, the Speaker, has pointed out — the economy can really erupt into an orgy of vomit-inducing growth. Said Queen Nancy of the check received by the unemployed:

It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name.

This, haters, is what happens when you finally have the brilliant Ivy Leaguers running things.

War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strength.

Let the healing begin.