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View a Class Starkly

June 30, 2010 Posted by Bierce Fortney Hillman Stark Jr., Immigration, Janet Napolitano 1 Comment

Why do people insist on bushwhacking honorable Congresspersons like this? He agrees to come to your stupid little town hall meeting and slouch on a stool like a hammered barfly and all you guys can do is hassle him:

Okay, look. First of all, the guy’s name is Fortney. That’s gotta be hard. And of all the nicknames he could have chosen to use instead, he chose “Pete”. That’s like a double name-fail. How much is one man expected to endure? He’s old. He’s getting fat. He has a crew cut. Hasn’t he suffered enough already? Leave him alone. He just wants to live the indolent, luxurious life of a Washington royal. Is that too much to ask? He doesn’t want to be badgered by polite constituents, like he owes them something. Get off the guy.

In point of fact, he’s as correct as he is courteous. The Minutemen are bloodthirsty killers who gun down illegals crossing the border — in an amount of upwards of zero, annually. The Bracero Program is still in effect, even though it ended in 1964, nine years before “Pete” assumed office. If illegals are apprehended under any circumstance they are deported — obviously, that’s why they are so scarce. There is a low incidence of crime among illegals — when ‘crime’ is defined as ‘obeying the law’. And, the border is quite secure, thank you. Even Janet Napolitano has said so.

Oh, sorry, our mistake. She actually said “you’re never going to totally seal that border.” And:

It’s a big border. It’s 1,960 miles across that Southwest border. It’s some of the roughest, toughest geographical terrain in the world across that border.

That’s exactly what the secretaries of Homeland Security for the Qi, Yan, Zhao, Han, Sui, Northern, Jin and Ming administrations said right before they constructed their 5,500-mile wall. Of course, that was during the 15th century and earlier when they had all those modern materials and construction techniques. And China’s topography, as everyone knows, is as smooth and featureless as “Pete’s” grasp of the issues. So it was easy for them.

But, the bottom line is that Fortney “Pete” Stark knows better than you. Who is the 37-year Congressking and who has to work for a living? Yeah, that’s what we thought. Get over yourselves, losers.

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