Graydon Carter, eminent erudite editor of Vanity Fair, has some advice for pubescent Americans and our electoral shenanigans in his latest piece entitled “Man Up, America!” .
Or don’t. You will have learned as much either way.
For those of you smart stupid enough to have skipped it, here are the salient points:
- The anger among the electorate is palpable. And all so very gauche.
- The “attendant hatred” for Obama has more to do with Him being black than being a Marxist. Because we Americans only want our country destroyed by white guys.
- Angry yokels in flyover country have guns. Lots of guns.
- Idiots enraged into voting are simply hormonal teenagers. With mortgages.
- Christine O’Donnell is not only “deranged” but—get this—she “has no talent for lawmaking”.
Talent! Now “lawmaking” requires talent. Yes. In related news, had no talent for human resource management.
- The blogosphere is “seething” (typed the furious blogger, through clenched teeth.)
- Deep in Mordor there lies an organization known as “Fox News” which has “martinets” who “marshal forces”. Ooooooh.
For you troglodytes who may be unfamiliar with Graydon, here is a comprehensive primer.
- Graydon Carter is a journalist.
- Graydon Carter’s first name is Graydon. (Okay, actually, Ed. But Graydon sounds so much more cerebral and sophisticated, n’est-ce pas? It is a nominal strategy not unlike the one employed by )
- Graydon Carter splits his time—believe it or not—between Manhattan and Connecticut.
- Graydon Carter has a hairstyle from no known period in history. And from no known gender.
Most amusing of all: Graydon Carter is Canadian. And he’s telling us to man up. Tough talk from a guy who wakes up every day looking just a little bit more like Barbara Bush.
NOT BARBARA BUSH. (PRETTY SURE.)
The concluding line of his piece:
America, you have it pretty damned good. Smile.
Yeah, Ed, and we’d like to keep it that way. That’s exactly what this election was all about.